Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Pause Button

I'd like to remain in 2011 for the rest of my life, please. It was a beautifully heart-breaking year; one that I'll not soon forget, nor wish to. It was the year I fell in love and realized how changing love is. It was the year that gave my dad cancer, but didn't take him from us. It was the year I mended the fences of my past. It was the year I offered myself forgiveness. It was the year I've been waiting for without even knowing it. I've been transformed by 2011. And it's because of that I would like to hit the pause button on life and stay in this moment forever.

But that can't happen. It won't happen. Life must go on, charging down the road, careening toward the inevitable of 2012. I can't allow my growth to be stunted because I'm unwilling to let go of the past. I must move forward accepting what is to come in the prospects of 2012. I have a hopeful dread for 2012; a longing to live in the moment, dangerously ignoring the future, loving recklessly without feeling. But that would be foolish. Unwise. Short-sighted. Daft.

2012 will be the year of living in the moment while thinking about the future, loving others recklessly with great feeling, focusing on others and myself, hoping for the miraculous and anticipating the reality. 2012 will be the year that solidifies me. 2012 will be the year I will look back on thirty years from now and be so thankful for.

And so in honor of 2012 I offer you this blessing:

May you find hot coffee for your mornings, a brightly shining sun for your day, and a soft pillow for your nights. May your friendships remain strong, your love increase two-fold, and your soul find nourishment. And may the face of God be always turned toward you for the rest of your days.

Happy New Year.