Monday, April 22, 2013

Save the date.

June 14, 2013.

The day my life stays the same, but everything changes. That's the day the state sanctions my marriage, but not the church.  That's the day I become an activist, but not willingly. That's the day I become a married man, but without a wife.

June 14, 2013.

The day I'm most nervous about. No. More than nervous... I'm flat out terrified. Not because I think I'm making a poor choice or a dreadful mistake. I don't think I am. In fact I know I'm not. I'm terrified because my future is no longer my own. My past is no longer my own. We offer each other our whole selves, without shame, and vow to protect, honour, love, and cherish each other. We make these solemn and sacred vows in front of God, our family, and friends. We make this covenant with each other; we no longer live for just ourselves, but for each other also.

June 14, 2013

The day the Church turns and looks away from us without acknowledging our love or our covenant made before God.  The day we're officially told we're sinners bound for hell.  The day we're told our family will never be the same as a "natural family".  The day we're treated as less than every other person.  The day we're reviled and despised for our commitment to and celebration of each other.

June 14, 2013.

The day it becomes real for my family and future family despite whether they agree with it or not. Will I be viewed as their family, or merely "Danny's friend"? Will my family view Danny as their family, or as "Gareth's um... ah... (nervous fidgeting) partner/uh... well... husband, I guess (nervous laughter)"?  Will our marriage be viewed as a covenant or a farce? Will our vows be viewed as sacred as everyone else's? Or will our marriage be viewed as something less than, something that mocks what they believe God intended?

June 14, 2013

The day I stand proudly with Danny telling him I'll always be there by his side, protecting his back, comforting when he needs comfort, weeping when he grieves, laughing when he's joyous, talking when he needs conversation, listening when he needs an ear, encouraging when he's down, forgiving when he errs, and always, always choosing him.  You see, when I remember why I'm marrying Danny I lose those negative feelings and nagging questions and become completely overwhelmed and humbled by how incredibly wonderful he is. And how extremely lucky I am to have him.

June 14, 2013

Save the date.

3 comments:

  1. I am so honored to be part of your lives. I have a lot to learn but I will not be part of the Church that turns and looks away on June 14, 2013. I KNOW that God is love and I will do everything that I am able to love those in my life with all that I have. I want to be part of the community that stands with you and Danny on that day to share in the joining of your happiness and love.

    Love, Clari

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    Replies
    1. We're glad you're a part of our lives, too, Clari. You are beautiful beyond words. We love you.

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  2. I am unspeakably proud of you and happy beyond words that you have found the love of your life. I am still in the church albeit I have moved to a church that accepts entirely the LGBT community (the episcopal church)... I entirely support you and your husband and hope to one day see you again and meet him! Thank you for having the courage to be the person God created you to be. All my love.

    -Sandra

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