My First Christmas

I'd like to be a little caustic about Christmas. I'd like to whine about how unenjoyable my Christmas might be, or how I'm going to be alone, or how I'm not even having a traditional Christmas dinner (turkey breast was too expensive, I had to go with steak on sale - evidently the first meat I've purchased since I moved. I figured you'd want to know that for some reason...). I'd like to whine about how I won't see my family, and can't afford to fly home. I'd like to, but it seems trivial. (I mean, sure, in a way I just did whine about it all...)

Instead, I'm focusing on what I'm going to consider my first Christmas.

Now is the time to start some traditions and do things I've always wanted to do, but have never really done on my own. Christmas Eve I'm going to church. A United Church of Christ church. For their Lessons and Carols 11 pm candlelight service. I've always wanted to attend a candlelight service so late at night; I think there's a beauty and sacredness to singing carols by candlelight in honor of the Christ. I may even dress in a suit for the occasion; at least a tie and nice pants. And when I get home from church, I think I'll listen to a Christmas album - perhaps the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, or Dean Martin, or Burl Ives, or even the beautiful Ella Fitzgerald - while sipping a glass of eggnog (that may or may not be spiked with Jack Daniels). I'll find a book of poetry about winter, or snow, or Christmas, or love and read that - sometimes aloud when I find meaningful passages - while the dulcet sound of Ms. Fitzgerald soothes my soul.

And as for Christmas Day, you may ask? I'll wake up when I want to (usually around four in the morning because I'm always excited by Christmas), cook some breakfast, open the presents/packages that have "amassed," and probably go on a Christmas walk through the neighborhood. I might even do some caroling while strolling; I'm thinking "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," "Good King Wenceslas," "Joy to the World," and "Silent Night." Maybe some "O Holy Night" and "Ave Maria" for good measure. I can spend the day in my underwear (which I won't because I like my clothes), I can drink as much eggnog as I'd like (a quart's worth, which is what I bought and more than enough to make me feel ill by day's end), I can eat what I want (in my case; a flank steak, sweet potato, brussels sprouts and southern-style macaroni and cheese), and I can watch Christmas movies all day. Somewhere in the mix I'm sure I'll take a nap since there's nothing like a day full of nothing to make you feel tired. At night, I'm going to light my Mexican grocer bought Sacred Heart of Jesus candle and have a vigil for those I love. I'll make a few Christmas phone calls to my family and friends. And then I'll fall asleep full of food and love.

I think that sounds like a beautiful, lovely, meaningful, and - not necessarily, but I think so - almost perfect Christmas. And with that, may you find beauty, love, and meaning this Christmas.